At the age of 21, it is a lie if you didn't even think a bit about LOVE and what's more, MARRIAGE. Being single at almost 4 years might be a small number to most people, but to me the years might be growing big and big, now 4 later will be 5 then will be what? 10? And I don't see any space I'm giving for anyone to enter. I'm keeping myself guarded all the time, and I do not know when will I bring down the barrier I'm keeping up all this while.
The past relationship that I had is not something to brag about, nor I say it is right but I can say my whole two years are built together with him. He used to be in every second of my life.
And I always wonder, how will my future husband look like? At what age will I meet him? When will we get married? Will I ever come to love the man I marry? Will my future husband treat me like he did? And there it goes every time every thought will have him in the end. Why, boy? Why are you the one that lingers in my mind? Every love related movie that I watched, every love song that I heard, they have you in it. All the moments that I treasure so much are torturing me now. I used to say to myself, move on, that was only childish love you had and it wont be there long. So 4 years are not long enough for it to disappear? Heh, silly me when I thought that I had moved on while I'm still living in the past. Live well, boy. I'm trying to live well too.
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